I have been really fortunate to meet some incredible people as part of fundraising activities over the last few years. You can't help but feel inspired listening to the unique stories from people from all walks of life, and how it impacts them or those that they care for.
Attending a BHF function a number of years ago, I was introduced to an incredible family who fundraise on for the BHF Scotland and The Glasgow Children's Hospital charities. The Dougan family (Peter and Nichola) were left in shock when their daughter Scarlett was diagnosed with an extremely rare and serious heart defect when she was only 5 months old. Watching the dedication and skill of the hospital staff caring for their child inspired the family to focus much of their efforts on raising funds and awareness of the phenomenal work of both charities.
I chatted with Nichola Dougan to understand how she has navigated 2020
Q. How did you cope with home schooling in your dual life as a parent & teacher during the initial lockdown period?
A. I have to admit that I am pretty rubbish at home schooling. Peter was far better. He took on most of the fun research activities. I actually think our children did really well. Their school was great at providing a variety of lessons every day and keeping the children engaged. They all worked really hard and I think they have improved a lot in some areas. As a teacher, I found teaching virtually a real struggle. It was so hard to gauge how the children in my class were doing. I really, really missed seeing them.
Q How have you been keeping yourself busy?
A. We are never “not busy”, 4 children will always find a way to keep you busy
And home improvements! So chuffed with some of the projects we have managed to complete. I have to admit though that as much as I loved getting the house in order in the beginning the novelty has well and truly worn off.
Q. What has been your biggest challenge?
My biggest challenge has been trying to make celebrations special. We like a good celebration in our family and we have traditions that we look forward to. Scarlett's First Holy Communion is the perfect example- How do you make the day as special as it should be when it happens at 7pm on a dreich Wednesday evening? I have to say, I think we managed it. Each celebration has been great in it's own way. I think it's just the feeling of not being able to share it with others that makes it so challenging.
Q. Where have you found strength at difficult times?
My family. Whenever I have found things difficult, I have found comfort in taking a step back and realising what a privileged position I am in. We have so much to be grateful for, not least our health and financial security, something that is so uncertain for many, many others. When I think about it like that I feel incredibly lucky, I pick myself up and get on with it!!
The children always entertain, and they keep me going. We have had loads of invaluable family time and I am so grateful to have had this. I have also enjoyed attending Mass virtually, which has surprised me as I usually avoid technology when I can.
Q. If you could go back to March & give yourself some advice - what would it be?
A. I would tell myself that this will be a marathon not a sprint. Oh and I’d make much more of an effort to keep the children practising the piano!!!!
Q. What have you learned about yourself?
A. Even when it feels like I have all the time in the world there are some tasks I will avoid, mainly ones that involve using the computer!
Days don’t need to be crazy busy, sometimes doing very little is exactly what I need. Allowing the children to have a “lazy day “ isn’t the end of the world!
I’ve also realised that I am much more social person than I thought.
Q. Did you pick up any new skills?
A. I had loads of plans to get stuck in to our charity website and get it updated, I am ashamed to admit I haven't. Technology really isn't my strength. I get bored with staring at a screen and lose patience easily! Not sure I picked up any skills successfully, I did try out lots of bits and pieces. Having more time at home meant teaching the children new skills (does that count)?
Q. What have you missed most?
A. Without a doubt, my family and friends are what I missed most. I wouldn't have described myself as someone who was out socialising a lot however I do have lots of fabulous people that I pop in to see, go for a coffee with, meet for lunch or dinner. Actually, even just stopping for chats when I am out and about in my area too is something I have missed. I would always be pottering about at weekends, popping into local shops and passing the time while dropping/picking up children from clubs. All that has stopped, everything feels very rigid and distant.
Q. The Scarlett fund has made significant contributions to the British Heart Foundation and Glasgow Children's hospital charities over a number of years, with an uncertain future around large scale fundraising events - how do you see this affecting charities and fundraisers hosting marquee events?
A. I am worried about the future for charities. We host Scarlett's Ball each year and it really is like one massive party. We fill the room with lots of supporters and party all night. I honestly can’t see it happening again any time soon. I am generally a very positive and motivated person however I don’t feel like that these days. My motivation is driven by thoughts of my daughter’s future and so I worry, hugely, that if I have lost my motivation then there really is not much to hope for.
That said, I do see wonderful people doing amazing things for charity, I don’t believe people have changed and so I know that if the events are there then the support will be too.
I think that the charities need people that can think outside the box in order to hold events that fit into today’s world. The way we live today is unrecognisable from how it was at the beginning of the year so in reality this way of life is really very new and requires huge adjustments for everyone. I am hopefully that as this becomes less new, things will become clearer and less complicated, future will be less uncertain, people will once again flock to help and support charities just as much as they did in the past.
