Tuesday, 28 January 2020

ICD Operation & Mental Health Recovery

Hogmanay is normally a time of celebration for families and friends across Scotland, however the bells that welcomed in 2017 rang with a little more trepidation for me.    Earlier that day I had endured/enjoyed a day out at the football with my 2 children watching Celtic come from behind to secure a 2-1 victory against city rival Rangers.   From my seat high in the Broomloan Road stand I had watched my team Celtic secure our first win at Ibrox for a few years.   The pulsating ninety minutes had left many in the 50000 strong crowd checking their heartbeat, but for me, the day brought me a new sensation & worry.


As I made my way to my seat at the very top of the away end at Ibrox, my heart was racing.    Was it the expectation of another Glasgow derby – or was my heart trying to tell me something? 


Shortly after I was born in 1978 I was diagnosed with a congenital heart defect called Tetralogy of Fallot (a combination of four abnormalities of the heart).    The condition meant that I needed 2 operations to help restore my oxygenated blood circulation when I was just 3 and 6 months old.  These procedures were followed up with 4 open heart surgeries (including 3 pulmonary valve replacements) when I was 3, 9, 19 & 31.    It’s fair to say that I am aware of just about every heartbeat.   However, the frenetic sensation in my chest was all very new to me & was very different to the increased heart rate when celebrating a winning goal.


As part of my aftercare with the Scottish adult  congenital service at the golden jubilee hospital I was able to discuss my symptoms with the nurse practitioners who arranged for a 24 hour tracing of my heart.   Unfortunately, no irregularities were identified during the review.    This was simply because my heart never raced out of control when it was being monitored.     Over the next 2 years I continued to feel the strong palpitations in my heart intermittently, until in late December 2018 I visited Glasgow Royal Infirmary after I had experienced a series of palpitations lasting well over 20 minutes.


On admission to the hospital I was diagnosed with non-sustained ventricular tachycardia symptoms.   These were no ordinary palpitations, this was serious and the condition had to be treated immediately.     I was given beta-blockers to treat my extra prominent heartbeat, however my specialist would not allow me to leave hospital until I had been fitted with an Implantable Cardioverter Defibrillator.    An ICD is a small device which can treat people with dangerously abnormal heart rhythms.    It sends electrical pulses to regulate abnormal heart rhythms, specifically those that can be dangerous and cause a cardiac arrest.   So, I had to spend Christmas in the hospital and was scheduled for surgery on Friday 28th December 2018, almost 2 years to the day since I first experienced the dangerous heart rhythms.


I was taken to the operating theatre for surgery early in the morning.   The device would be implanted under local anaesthetic and I would be awake during the entire procedure.   This was a particularly unsettling experience, however the surgeon and his team ensured I was comfortable throughout and kept me informed of the progress being made.   I was taken back to my ward to recover and have a bite to eat.    The device was tested to ensure the wires were in position correctly  and could regulate my heart if required.    This was a rather strange sensation feeling  a machine change my heartbeat.


With the operation a success I was discharged from hospital the following day, oddly enough just as Celtic were playing Rangers at Ibrox again for the traditional New Year fixture.   This time I was happy to be in my own home instead of the stadium.


Over the next 4 weeks I had to learn how to adjust physically to my new device, this included sleeping, stretching and getting dressed.    I also watched as the bruising & swelling dwindled during my recovery.     A little over 5 weeks after my operation I returned to work with the support of my employers, colleagues and family. 


I managed to overlook the warning signs that should have directed me to my GP to get my racing heartbeat checked for almost 2 years.    I made a similar mistake later in 2019 as I struggled to deal with the mental impact of the change in my heart condition.


As with all my previous heart operations my focus was on physical recovery, some simple exercises to help loosen the tightness around the reforming muscle and tissue surrounding my newly implanted cardioverter defibrillator.    I was fragile both physically and mentally.   This new stage in my desire to overcome the challenges I faced growing up with a serious heart defect left me questioning everything about myself.    However, I thought the best way to deal with it was to get back to being “me"; family life, work, Celtic  and squeezing in as much of everything else as I possibly could, including socialising, gigs and sporting events.

In reality my response to the operation had overlooked the importance of mending the mental wounds caused by the emergency surgery and the severity of the palpitations I had experienced for the previous couple of years.    I had not sensed denial, empathy or justification for the changes in my condition.    I just accepted it, but never really changed.    I kept going, and did not give adequate attention to healing the unspoken trauma.

During the 11 months after my ICD operation I increased my workload and activities in the office and at home.    The impact was crushing.   I completely lost interest in everything I enjoyed and live for.     Family time, football, Celtic, writing and even work - they all suffered.    I woke up on the morning  of the 10th December and broke down in tears, I had no idea why – I felt numb and I couldn't leave the house.   I took some time off from work hoping it would help, but my indifference only grew.

I tried to focus on healthy eating and some light exercise even some mindfulness techniques, but noticed my focus easily strayed.     I found it hard to speak and even harder to sleep.  I started to experience long spells of anxiety and began counselling sessions, arranged through my employer.   My GP prescribed antidepressants, but I drifted into a dark lonely depression.

I made an appointment with my nurse practitioner at the golden jubilee hospital.   Our discussion covered the last 12 months and more, but the focus was on my actions in the last fortnight.   I broke down as I shared details of my growing anxiety and depression, the images and thoughts that had left me paralysed with fear. 

The importance of speaking to someone became very clear to me.   I have follow up appointments with a clinical psychologist to discuss the next steps with me.   I know that there are no quick fixes and it will not be easy.     However, I also appreciate that mental well being is as crucial as physical health and I will be working hard to repair both.

The strength and patience shown by family and friends during this time has helped me open up and to say “I am not ok”.    I am still frightened, but I have taken the first steps in helping overcome my fears.



Thursday, 18 October 2018

That Was The Celtic Goal That Was

That Was the Celtic Goal That Was




No. 7 26th April 1969 Steve Chalmers

 

Celtic complete the domestic treble as they thumped their city rivals 4-0 in front of over 130,000 fans at Hampden Park. The 2nd treble in 3 seasons cemented our place as the leading club in the country & Jock Stein as one of the top managers in world football at the time.

 



With a few big names missing from the starting line-up, Celtic surprisingly were not the clear favourites going into the match. Rangers had crushed Aberdeen 6-1 in the Semi final & with Jinky suspended & John Hughes injured, the media had Rangers edging the final.

 



In a blistering first half Celtic scored 3 goals with out reply. The first coming from our captain & leader Billy McNeill. After only 3 minutes Celtic took advantage of some poor marking in the box, a corner swung into the box was met perfectly by McNeil as he steered the ball into the corner of the net.

 



Rangers had chances but Fallon in goal kept Celtic in front. As the match approached half time Celtic scored 2 quickfire goals. Bobby Lennox made it 2-0 when he capitalised on some slack passing in the Rangers Midfield. With the Celtic fans still celebrating the 2nd Goal, George Connelly dispossessed John Greig on the edge of the rangers box, then rounded the keeper to make it 3-0.

 



With the match over as a contest Celtic continued to attack in the 2nd half, then on 76 minutes Steve Chalmers scored Celtics 4th goal. In a move that started from inside our own 6 yard box, Celtic swept from defence to attack in seconds.

 



McNeil headed a cross clear & within 4 passes Chalmers found himself in acres of space in the Rangers half, he advanced on the left wing, cutting into the box, bearing down on goal he had support from Lennox & Auld, but with the angle closing Chalmers clipped the ball with the outside of his right foot passed Martin in the Rangers goal & inside his near post.

 



As the Celtic players & fans celebrated the huge victory the rangers fans made their way for the exit, some trying to enter the field of play.

 



The cheek of the finish from Chalmers not only showed the confidence in that Celtic teams ability it also showed the gap in quality between both teams in the final.

 



To win the treble was reward for a fantastic performance, but to secure it so emphatically against our rivals made it more special.



That Was The Celtic Goal That Was

That Was the Celtic Goal That Was



No. 6 24th August 1996 Paolo Di Canio



On the 31st May 1996 Paolo Di Canio joined Celtic from AC Milan. Tommy Burns had been looking to add a game changer to our team, someone who could unlock defences , make & score goals - Tommy & the Celtic fans were not to be disappointed.


The arrival of Di Canio complete the "Three Amigos" forward line of the 96/97 season with Cadete & Van Hooijdonk. Andreas Thom would add some more firepower to a sometimes unstoppable attacking formation. However, with so much focus on going forward our defence were often left wide open & even with a fast flowing strikers we couldn't always get the win we so sorely needed that season.


In an early season match at Rugby Park, Celtic scored 3 second half goals coming from behind to beat Kilmarnock.


After going into the dressing room at Half-Time 1 down Celtic had to find a way to get back into the match. Having survived a scare early in the 2nd half when Kilmarnock should have doubled their lead, Di Canio & Cadete burst into life.


With an hour gone Di Canio picked up the ball near the half-way line & broke forward at pace before exchanging passes with Cadete on the edge of the Kilmarnock box. The Italian had slipped passed his marker in the box, he took one more touch to jink passed the last defender & then stabbed the ball with the outside of his boot into the bottom corner of the net, wrong footing the goalkeeper as Celtic drew level.


The hunger to get a winner was evident as the Italian retrieved the ball from the net to get the match started again.


Moments later Celtic found themselves ahead as we quickly broke up the park from a Kilmarnock corner. Cedete rode a heavy challenge on the half way line & made an inch perfect pass for Thom to complete the move with left footed finish.


A third goal was added in the final minutes when Di Canio slipped the ball through to his Portuguese team mate to wrap up the 3 points. The explosive introduction of Di Canio turned the match around & gave a clear indication of how Tommy Burns wanted his side to perform & entertain.

That Was the Celtic Goal That Was

That Was The Celtic Goal That Was
 
No 5 - 29th April 1995 - Tom Boyd
 
During the early 90's there was very little for Celtic fans to get excited about, boardroom unrest & inconsistency on the pitch. The tail end of the 94 season saw the boardroom struggle finally coming to an end as Fergus McCann took the reins at the club. A new plan & vision was sold & the supporters joined him in the quest. In our push to become the number one team in Scotland again we had to take a few detours on the way & one of these detours took us to Hampden for the 1994/95 season
 
The league season at Hampden could easily be forgotten, but in reality the season spent there allowed the Club to replant their roots at Celtic Park & make inroads to winning silverware once again.
 
In one of the many away days during the season Celtic visited Brockville for a important League match against Falkirk.     The hosts were playing well & looking to finish in a European spot in the league, Celtic on the other hand were struggling to put a run of results together & with one eye on the Scottish Cup Final at the end of the season, that could perhaps be forgiven.
 
Celtic started well & scored after only 5 minutes through Phil O'Donnell. Falkirk came back into the match with Maurice Johnston missing a good chance in front of goal much to the amusement of the travelling support, especially when it was clear that Bonner had also caught Johnston & left the striker checking all items in his shorts were still intact.
 
Into the 2nd half Falkirk were awarded a soft penalty which was converted to bring the sides level. With so many draws hampering Celtic all season it seamed like it would be another day without a win.
 
From a throw in on the right, Tom Boyd made his way passed two defenders & tried to square the ball, following a game of pinball on the Falkirk box the ball broke to O'Donnell who snatched at his shot, the ball fell kindly for Boyd & he diverted the ball passed the Falkirk keeper from close range.
 
As Boyds team-mates swarmed round him, you could see what the goal meant. It wasn't a league decider, it wasn't a cup final, but it was one of the few times in the season when we managed to grind out a win when it seamed more likely to leave with a point.
 
Tom Boyd only scored 2 competitive goals in his 11 years at the Club & although he had to endure the difficult times during the early nineties, he was able to sign off his Celtic career in some style Captaining the team that won the title in 1997/98 & then secured a Treble in 2001.
 
 

Friday, 17 August 2018

That Was The Celtic Goal That Was

That Was The Celtic Goal That Was


No 4.   4th March 1970, Bertie Auld

 
"Once a Celt, yer always a Celt"

 
As one of the famed Lisbon Lions Bertie Auld will always be remembered by Celtic Fans the world over. Playing almost 300 competitive matches during his time at Celtic Park, he saw some lows but enjoyed far more highs.

 
A tough tackling, hard working playmaker in midfield, he was at the heart of our greatest ever triumph. He played 25 matches in Europe for Celtic & scored 1 goal, that came in March 1970.   Celtic had been drawn against Fiorentina in the quarter final of the European Cup after eliminating Benfica in the previous round.

 
The Italian team came to Glasgow for the first leg in what would be the biggest attendance for a European match a Celtic Park, with just over 77200 people there to watch a masterclass from wee "Ten-Thirty".

 
After 6 weeks out of the team due to injury, Jock Stein had no hesitation in throwing Bertie back into midfield for the big match. Bertie didn't let the boss down, he took control from kick off & powered Celtic into attack with willing support from Tommy Gemmell & Davie Hay.

 
After 30 minutes Celtic got the breakthrough, Bobby Murdoch crossed the ball from the right wing, John Hughes headed the ball back to the edge of the Box where Bertie Auld was in acres of space, he took a touch to control & powered a low shot passed the keeper & into the bottom corner of the net. Celtic were 1 up & in control of the match.
 



In the opening exchanges of the 2nd half Auld had the ball wide left & delivered a cross waiting to be attacked, in the panic Carpenetti connected with the cross only to loop the ball over his own keeper & double the advantage for Celtic.

 
Celtic continued to dominate & got the reward of a 3rd goal in the final minute, Once again Bertie Auld played his part. Picking up a loose ball in the final 3rd of the pitch, he drifted wide left & crossed the ball for Harry Hood to set up Willie Wallace who was on hand to seal an impressive victory 3-0 victory over the Italian Champions.

 
Celtic would loose the 2nd leg 1-0, but the tie was effectively over after a Bertie Auld & Celtic had produced a flawless performance at Celtic Park.




Thursday, 16 August 2018

That Was The Celtic Goal That Was

No 3. 22nd April 2007, Shunsuke Nakamura

 

No better way to win the league than with a last gasp winner.

 

Celtic travelled to Rugby Park Kilmarnock needing 3 points to wrap up the title. An end of season stutter had seen Celtic win only 1 of the previous 4 league matches, losing away to Rangers & Falkirk & only picking up a point at Tannadice.

 

A 1-0 win at home against Motherwell at the start of April was followed by a Cup Semi Final victory over St Johnstone helping to raise spirits again before heading to Kilmarnock for what everyone hoped would be a title party.

 

For the first time in over 3 years John Kennedy started a match for Celtic, which was a welcome sight for fans in the stadium & watching on TV.

 

After a bright start from Celtic the match slowed down with half chances for both sides. However, mid way through the first half a corner from Nakamura was met perfectly by Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink as he glanced a header into the net to give Celtic the lead. With no more real goalmouth action in the first half, Celtic were 45 minutes from winning back to back titles.

 

Early in the 2nd half Kilmarnock drew level & the both sides had chances to take the lead, but the match looked to be heading for a draw & a delay to the title celebrations.

 

With the match now in Injury time Nakamura was bundled off the ball around 25 yards from goal, expectation grew among the Celtic fans. The Kilmarnock wall was set, Nakamura looked at his target, stepped up & curled the ball into the bottom corner of net. The delirious Celtic players joined the fans at the front of Chadwick stand to celebrate the wining goal & the winning of our 41st title.



 

Footage from the TV later showed Gordon Strachan & Tommy Burns bursting from the dug out in sheer joy at the moment the title was sealed.



That split second between anticipation & jubilation for the club staff & players was captured perfectly. 





 

A fabulous player with a special talent, Nakamura had helped deliver the title in the best possible way & gave fans an excuse to celebrate long after the final whistle.

Tuesday, 14 August 2018

That was the Celtic goal that was

No 2.  8th May 2004 Chris Sutton.





Whitewash -"A victory by the same side in every game of a series"





As Celtic & Rangers lined up pre-match at Celtic Park in early May, there was very little at stake for Celtic.   The championship had already been won, the league trophy was in the boardroom & the players league winners medals were safely tucked away at home.   Only one issue was still to be decided.     Could Celtic complete a whitewash of their Glasgow rivals?





The bittersweet end to the 2002 / 2003 season saw Celtic with no trophies to show, but some amazing memories of an unforgettable run to the UEFA Cup Final in Seville. 



The 03/04 season delivered silverware & some more magical moments in Europe.   Over the course of the season, Celtic & Rangers would meet 5 times, 4 matches in the league & 1 more in the Scottish Cup.





In the first meeting of the season in early October, Celtic shuffled the pack playing Chris Sutton at centre back & bringing in Liam Miller to midfield.   Celtic went home with 3 points thanks to a goal from John Hartson just at the start if the 2nd half.   The win put down a marker & put Celtic top of the league.





The traditional New year's match up was as one sided as the result suggests.   Goals from Petrov, Varga & Thompson secured a 3-0 victory & an 11 point lead in the championship race.

The Scottish Cup draw paired the sides together in the quarter final at Celtic Park.   A scrappy second half goal from Henrik Larsson ensured Celtic progressed to the Semi-Final.





29 matches unbeaten & 16 points ahead in the league, Celtic made their last trip to Ibrox & took a commanding 2 goal lead thanks to Larsson & Thompson, a late goal from Rangers could not stop us extending our lead at the top of the league to 19 points.





So everything was set for the final match up of the season.    A win would give Celtic their first whitewash over Rangers since the early 1970s.





A bright start saw Celtic score early, only to see the goal chopped off for a foul in the build up.   Both keepers were tested through the 90 minutes & appeared to be getting the upper hand as the match looked to be heading for a stalemate.





With the match in injury time Sutton flicked on a long ball to Larsson who took a touch & complete his one-two with Sutton.  Sutton controlled the ball 30 yards from goal & powered his way passed


Frank De Boer at the centre of the Rangers defence, leaving De Boer face down in the turf.



With only Klos to beat, Sutton chipped the ball in to the top corner from 25 yards out, before running to the Celtic end to celebrate with his team-mates.    Fans joined in the jubilation for the remainder of the match & long into the night.










With shades of memorable chip from Larsson in the 6-2 game in 2000, Sutton & Larsson had reversed roles to deliver the same glorious outcome.





Celtic would go on to complete the League & Cup double, helping ease the pain of the missed opportunities from the previous season & made all the sweeter with the whitewash of our city rivals.






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